It is my pleasure to introduce the newly opened overflow parking lot. The entrance is easily accessible as long as you're going 80 mph down Alpine. Make sure you lock up your brakes 30 yards before the stop sign and slide through the intersection. Once you've made your landing, grab your sticks out of the trunk and head out to the course. Feel free to drop a ball or two on #5 fairway and take in a few practice shots before beginning your round on #6 tee.

Of course, I'm kidding. This fine piece of automobile crashed through the fence on #5 last Wednesday after a police chase that originated on the freeway. While I have not confirmed any details, I'm told that the gentleman ran down the 6th hole, jumped the fence, and ran towards a vacant house. He posed no threat to golfers, he was not dangerous, or intelligent. I unplugged the stuck horn when I reached the car and noticed his cell phone was still on the driver's seat. That is probably something you want to take with you when leaving the scene of an accident. I overheard the Sheriffs talking about the guy's record including a few charges and current warrant which explains why he was fleeing in the first place.

I almost forgot, this is the 'Turf Page' so I better talk about some turf. We are going to seed the area where the car slid in and install a new section of fence to repair the damage. Every golf course endures some form of vandalism or property damage because it is such an appealing target. In this instance we are an innocent bystander and barely inconvenienced. However, everyone knows about the donuts that were turned on #6 green over 5 years ago. We also have tee markers and flags disappear and the occasional mess of beer cans littered on the course. Compared to other courses, we have very little vandalism because of our location. There are only a handful of houses that border the course on two holes with fence and water protecting the rest. Think of it like a castle and a mote, but watch out for hostile barbarians driving in Buick Regals.